These Are The Tales

These are the tales

These are the tales that

I tell so well(Tune in to the History Channel)

These are the tales(Learn a lesson biatch)

These are the tales that

I tell so well(Short Dog)

I'm thinkin' way back, it's been a long, long time

In 1980 I wrote my first rhyme

I like to spit a lot of game

But back then,

I was just sayin' my name

I had a record player on my stereo

Got down on my knees with my radio

From Oakland,

California with some new shit

I'm Sir Too

Short, I'm bout to do this

In 1981, that's where it all begun

We do it for the money, we don't rap for fun

Five dolla's fo' a tape,

Too Short and

Freddy BMoney in my pocket's all

I ever need

It was me,

Fred B and

Freddy Brack

Dipped the sermon sticks then we smoked them phat

While we rapped about the bitches and all the ho's

Can't be in the hole tryin' to ball without vogues

In '82 you was in the game

With a Falcon,

Cougar or a

MustangMe and

Freddy B used to hit the turfs

With a bag of tapes puttin' in work, biatch

In '83 you hit a house party

A dolla' get you in and a dolla' fo' a drink

I'm on the turntable smokin' get-right

And at mid-night

I'll be rappin' on the mic

I did the same thang, for the next two years

That's why they say my name, when

I come through here

When I was

Sixteen, I want'd to be a mack

I went to

Fremont High with

Lil' D and

BlackYoung ballers in the town livin' real phat

Never had the sack but

I smoked a little crack

Crushed up in the weed, we call 'em bass rock

CaddiesGoin' on them grimmies make them ho's call me daddy

These are the tales

These are the tales that

I tell so well

These are the tales

These are the tales that

I tell so well

It's been fifteen years since that shit happened

But Too Short don't stop rappin'

In '85, I was on the right page

Ten thousand niggaz,

Short live on stage

Underground tapes was all they ever heard

But the whole crowd sang along with me word for word

And that changed everything

Went to Seventy

Five Girls and hooked up with

DeanReal player-ism and that's no joke

Snort a lot of coke with ho's that like to smoke

I was makin' records but wasn't makin' money

You can take it seriously or you can think it's funny

By '87, I was on my own, started

Dangerous

MusicAnd I made the song "These are the tales, the freaky tales"

No radio or video or

CD salesSix platinums in a row,

Ice Cube and

Cool JWho else did that shit?

Short Dog from the

BayThese ho's try to play it safe

But I been mackin' hard since eighty-eight

And from eighty-nine to ninety-six

I was rappin' on the mic talkin' shit about a bitch

I'll retire ten times and

I'll still be here

My old records sell about a half a mil' a year

I say "Bitch get naked" so pimpishly

Spit rhymes through decades and centuries

And bitches just love my dirty mouth

When I see you again

I'ma cuss you out, biatch!

That's my gift, now all you rappers get to say that shit

I wont sue you, but that's the trademark

I was a grown ass man when you was playin' in the park lil' nigga

These are the tales

These are the tales that

I tell so well

These are the tales

These are the tales that

I tell so well

Now I'm in

Atlanta I still love the

OI gave you my bitch but you can't have my flow

I guest appeared on 47 albums

Fuck McDonald and fuck

CalvinI get money with

Erick Sermon when

I'm in New

YorkI get respect, they call me

Too ShortI live swell in

ATL, 'cause

I'm a player

We fuckin' hella ho's at

X House in

Decatur where it's greater

You know how we ride

I got love for all niggaz from the

EastSideIt was me,

Ant Banks and

Shorty BAll we need to do is find my nigga

PeeWeeWe used to be on

Murdel Street makin' funky songs

If you see him tell him

Short said it's back on

Let's get this money, midwest down

SouthEast coast,

West coast ride out, biatch

These are the tales(That's my gift to rap)

These are the tales that

I tell so well(You can have that word, say bitch all you want)

These are the tales(All you regular fake ass niggas)

These are the tales that

I tell so well(You finally get to have Too Short's bitch, trick)