Harold The Barrel

Written：Banks/Collins/Gabriel/Hackett/Rutherford

News：

A well-known Bognor restaurant-owner disappeared

early this morning.

Last seen in a mouse-brown overcoat,

suitably camouflaged,

they saw him catch a train.

Man-in-the-street:

"Father of three its disgusting"

"Such a horrible thing to do"

Harold the Barrel cut off his toes and he served them all

for tea

"Can't go far", "He can't go far".

"Hasn't got a leg to stand on"

"He can't go far".

Man-on-the-spot:

I'm standing in a doorway on the main square

tension is mounting

There's a restless crowd of angry people

Man-on-the-council:

"More than we've ever seen.

had to tighten up security"

Over to the scene at the town hall

The Lord Mayor's ready to speak

Lord Mayor:

"Man of suspicion, you can't last long, the British Public

is on our side"

British Public:

"Can't last long", "You can't last long".

"Said you couldn't trust him, his brother was just the same"

"You can't last long".

Harold:

If I was many miles from here,

I'd be sailing in an open boat on the sea

Instead I'm on this window ledge,

With the whole world below

Up at the window

Look at the window...

Mr.Plod:

"We can help you"

Plod's Chorus:

"We can help you"

Mr. Plod:

"We're all your friends, if you come on down

and talk to us son"

Harold:

You must be joking

Take a running jump

The crowd was getting stronger and our Harold

getting weaker;

Forwards, backwards, swaying side to side

Fearing the very worst

They called his mother to the sight

Upon the ledge beside him

His mother made a last request.

67-yr-old Mrs Barrel:

"Come off the ledge if your father were alive he'd be very,

very, very upset.

"Just can't jump, you just can't jump"

"Your shirt's all dirty, there's a man here from

the B.B.C."

"You just can't jump"

Mr. Plod:

"We can help you"

Plod's Chorus:

"We can help you"

Mr. Plod:

"We're all your friends, if you come on down

and talk to us Harry"

Harold:

You must be joking.

Take a running jump......