my big bag of excuses for this hole i dug myself into

I’m in my bag of excuses for bad decisions I’ve made

Bad actions stemming from trauma that doesn’t justificate

I look around and see all of this destruction and decay

But I think that the only difference is

I didn’t see what was right in my face

At some point you have to face it

Used to think fixing my problems was caving

I used to think that my problems were what made me special

And that shit is dangerous

And I used to think that if I got better

My art would suffer as a trade and

It got to the point where I thought

My mental well-being ain’t even worth saving

But honestly I was mistaken

What the **** was I on?

How could I be so wrong?

I was down for so long

I dug myself too far

What the **** was I on?

How could I be so wrong?

I made myself the problem

I was a victim of temptation and my own temperament

I get too passionate and I come off batshit

And I’m just a magnet for tragic infatuation

And I almost had it but I couldn’t capture it

Don’t want to trap it, don’t know what’s happening

But when you’re laughing, it’s a great distraction

I think we might just be moving too fast, yeah

Keep your hands in at all time and belts fastened

I don’t know what the

**** I was on

How could I be so wrong?

I was down for so long

I dug myself too far

What the **** was I on?

How could I be so wrong?

I made myself the problem

And honestly I don’t know what the

**** I was on

How could I be so wrong?

I was down for so long

I dug myself too far

What the **** was I on?

How could I be so wrong?

I made myself the problem