The Irish Ballad

(Piano Intro)

About a maid I'll sing a song, sing rikkity tikkity tin,

About a maid I'll sing a song,

Who didn't have her family long,

Not only did she do them wrong,

She did every one of them in, them in,

She did every one of them in.

One morning in a fit of pique,

One morning in a fit of pique,

She drowned her father in the creek,

The water tasted bad for a week,

And we had to make do with Gin, with Gin,

We had to make do with Gin.

Her mother she could never stand,

Her mother she could never stand,

And so a cyanide soup she planned,

The mother died with a spoon in her hand,

And her face in a hideous grin, a grin,

Her face in a hideous grin.

She set her sister's hair on fire,

She set her sister's hair on fire,

And as the smoke and flame rose higher,

Danced around the funeral pyre,

Playing a violin, -olin,

Playing a violin.

(This verse faster)

She weighted her brother down with stones,

She weighted her brother down with stones,

And sent him off to Davy Jones,

All they ever found were some bones,

And occasional pieces of skin, of skin,

Occasional pieces of skin.

One day when she had nothing to do,

One day when she had nothing to do,

She cut her baby brother in two,

And served him up as an Irish Stew,

And invited the neighbours in, -bours in,

Invited the neighbours in.

And when at last the police came by,

And when at last the police came by,

Her little pranks she did not deny,

To do so she would have had to lie,

And lying she knew was a sin, a sin,

Lying she knew was a sin.

(This verse faster)

My tragic tale I won't prolong,

My tragic tale I won't prolong,

And if you do not enjoy my song,

You've yourselves to blame if it's too long,

You should never have let me begin, begin,

You should never have let me begin.