Rap Battle (From "Legion: Finalmente"/Soundtrack Version)

I'm the old wizard who lives in the shoe

The slick mack daddy from the ice cube

My body's quite muscular, bloodstream's quite corpuscular

If you step to me, farkas, you'll be sorry, sir

Oh, yes. You'll be sorry

I'm the Big Bad Wolf, that's what I'm telling you

I've got a sensitive nose, that's why I'm smelling you

I'll roofie your daughter, hell, I'll roofie your son

I'm faster than a gun, so you can hide

But you can't run

I'm an old-school warlock

Slept in more bear's bed than Goldilocks

Stay away from my kids or I'll beat you with my cock

You may be an animal, but I'm a magical mammal

Who can turn you into ash and then I'll go on sabbatical

You got all of the id, and none of the ego

You're all bark and no bite, while I fly like an eagle

I'm the supine lupine, my libido kills sunshine

Moody and spicy like a fine-ass toilet wine

I'm the new norm, like stepmother porn

like a snatch and grab in a college dorm

I'm everything that's real like the fact that veal

Is really adorable baby cows

Who scream for their mommies when they die

Mmm, screams

I'll take your reality and I'll break it in half

Then I'll go take a shower, or maybe a bath

See, I'm classy, I'm elegant, like a democrat or a delegate

I've got balls of an elephant, by which I mean I'm masculine

I've got a lot of nice feminine qualities, too

You can say I'm the mother of disaster

The battle master, you can call yourself a wolf?

You're a s***** little bastard

I'm the loco lobo, and your name is meat

Here is my lap, come take a seat

I've got a spiky erection, like your daddy at bedtime

Holding you tight and reading "Once Upon a Hate Crime"

I'm a hepatitis outbreak in a homeless encampment

I'm realer than real, I only got bad news

Now get out of my way 'cause I win and you lose!

You are a scared little boy and you're crying boo-hoo

Because you know deep inside that nobody loves you

I've got family and friends, I give money to charity

Every year on my holiday, people send me cards and letters

My mom and dad still write to me

Little old ladies still smile at me

Puppies aren't afraid to me

I get more hugs than hate mail

And I go to bed happy

Can you say that, you sad, sad man?