Plastic Jesus

I don't care if it rains or freezes

Long as I got my plastic

JesusRidin' on the dashboard of my car

Through my trials and tribulations

And my travels through the nation

With my plastic

Jesus I'll go far

Ridin' down the thoroughfare

With a nose up in the air

A wreck may be ahead but

He don't mind

Trouble comin'

He don't see

He just keeps

His eye on me

And any other thing that lies behind

With my plastic

JesusGoodbye and

I'll go far

I said, with my plastic

JesusSitting on the dashboard of my car

When I'm in a traffic jam

He don't care if

I say damn

I can let all my curses roll'

Cause Jesus plastico doesn't hear'

Cause He has a plastic ear

The man who invented plastic saved my soul

With my plastic

JesusGoodbye and

I'll go far

I said, with my plastic

JesusSitting on the dashboard of my car

And if I weave around at night

Policemen think

I'm very tired

They never find my bottle

Though they ask'

Cause plastic

Jesus shelters me

For His head comes off you see

He's hollow and

I use him like a flask

WhoaSave me

I don't care if it's dark or scary

Long as I got magnetic

MaryRidin' on the dashboard of my car

I feel that

I'm protected amply

I've got the love of the whole damn family

Ridin' on the dashboard of my car

With my plastic

JesusI said, “

Goodbye and

I'll go far”

And I said, with my plastic

JesusI said sitting on the dashboard of my car

When I'm goin' fornicatin',

I've got my ceramic

SatanSittin' on the dashboard of my car

Women know

I'm on the level

Thanks to the wide-eyed stoneware devil

Sneerin' from the dashboard of my car