Bar Mitzvah Boy

This is one that we don't play that much

But, uh--but i figured it's ******* Jersey

I think you might enjoy this

So here we go

Thirteenth birthday

People come from far away

Aunts and uncles show up

I brush my fro up

Feeling skittish

People speaking Yiddish

Buy a three-piece suit tie

Tailor's hand on my thigh

Pratice for the whole year

Paralyzed with fear

Hebrew flash cards on my walls

Voice is changing, dropped my balls

Dad's mad at the cost

Too bad, Mom's the boss

Grandma's heart full of joy

For the Bar Mitzvah boy

[man] Bar Mitzvah boy

Bar Mitzvah boy

[man] Bar Mitzvah boy

Bar Mitzvah boy

[man] Bar Mitzvah boy

Bar Mitzvah boy

[man] Bar Mitzvah boy

Okay, up on the podium

I'm starinng out at everyone

Can't remember how it goes

Whistle from my rabbi's nose

Oh, man, this is it

Make up some crazy ****

Baruch atah, a cha-cha-cha

Everybody says, "Good job"

Now I'm done, sweet relief

Lipstick on Mama's teeth

Catholic friends all ask me this

What the **** is a knish

Gifts are all coing in

Checks and bonds and fountain pens

Make a bank deposit

Make out in the closet

He's the Bar Mitzvah boy

[man] Bar Mitzvah boy

Bar Mitzvah boy

[man] Bar Mitzvah boy

Bar Mitzvah boy

[man] Bar Mitzvah boy

Bar Mitzvah boy

[man] Bar Mitzvah boy

The rabbi does the Electric Slide

Grandma's ass is six feet wide

Party music never stops

All my friends drinking schnapps

Boys are short, girls are tall

Pass me the alcohol

Chug as much as I can

Vomit on the klezmer band

Mom and Dad yell at me

Disgrace my family

But I'm a man, so I don't care

Got my first mustache hair

I'm the Bar Mitzvah boy

[man] Bar Mitzvah boy

Bar Mitzvah boy

[man] Bar Mitzvah boy

Bar Mitzvah boy

[man] Bar Mitzvah boy

Bar Mitzvah boy

[man] Bar Mitzvah boy

And it's the best day of my life

Until three years later

When my parents stop

Making me go to temple