A Whole Lot Worse

Honey, you wanna know about bad?

When I was a young girl

'Bout the age of one

I shot up my crib

With a BB gun

I never behaved

Never followed no rules

They kicked me out of my nursery schools

Every year for Mother's Day I steal my mother's purse

(She steals her mother's purse)

So if you wanna be bad

You're gonna have to do a whole lot worse

My whole life long

I've been called a disgrace

I can hold up a bank

Using only my face

I'm the nastiest creature

You ever did see

On Halloween I dress up as me

One look my way can make an angry mob disperse

(Make that mob disperse)

So if you wanna be bad

You're gonna have to do a whole lot worse

(A whole lot worse)

You're so squeaky-clean

You're so spic and span

You never litter, or loiter

Or drink from a can

So when you start braggin' 'bout your wicked life

We're like switchblades laughing at a butter knife

My body's a paradise

Of swivels and curves

Ever since I was twelve

I've been a magnet for pervs

One day the Oscar Meyer man

Tried to cop a feel

I climbed up and stabbed him in his wiener mobile

I nearly turned that hot dog into a hearse

(A hot dog into a hearse)

So do you wanna be bad?

Or mean?

Or plain perverse?

(Yeah!)

If you wanna be bad

You're gonna have to do a whole lot worse, yeah

It takes years to be bad, it ain't no passing fad

It takes commitment and time, to master petty crime

So if you want your degree, in delinquency

You're gonna have to be

A whole hell of a lot

Worse