Criswell Predicts

Turned on my television to lucky Channel 13,

Tuned in to Mr. Criswell, he sure was on the beam —

With his predictions,

With his convictions

Of what the future will be...

Ah, it made a lot of sense to me.

Criswell predicts many things in the future —

Criswell predicts what the world's gonna do:

Trips to the stars,

Vacations on Mars,

Snow in July,

The strangest new cars —

And if Criswell predicts it,

You can bet it comes true.

Criswell predicts many things in the future —

Criswell predicts what is gonna be new:

Swimming pools on wheels,

Political deals,

The invention of pills

That are seven-course meals —

He out-predicts Pearson,

And Nostradamus too...

He's been checked and double-checked

And he's 90% correct

In the things he says are going to be...

So I listened every night,

And it turned out he was right:

Cause he said a thing that sure applied to me...

Criswell predicted you would be in my future —

Criswell predicted lost weekends with you:

The statement sure was bold,

But the minute it was told

I knew you'd be the lover

I'd really like to hold...

Cause if Criswell predicts it,

It's just gotta come true.

So make a date —

Let's not wait —

Stars are right — don't hesitate —

If Criswell predicts it,

Then it's gotta come true!